My Immortal Love
by Dautr abr du Sundavar
Summary: Someone's angsting. Who, and why? Summary may be kinda humorous, but there's only one funny line in the story. I know, shocking coming from me. Readers might want to bring a flashlight or two; it's dark in there. Mild 6, 7 and 8 spoilers. Character DEATH!


**A/N: This is for Rydd Rider, who asked for more.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize.**

* * *

Our story begins over a year after the accident. Despite all that time, he – the angsting protagonist of this story – is, quite simply, still not himself. He has been comforted, confronted, threatened, and even told at one point, "Look, I know it's hard for you. But you've already cried the river, so build a bridge and_ get over it!_" But he can't. It's not for lack of trying, oh no. It is simply for lack of will to try.

_I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
__And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
__Your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone_

_He opened his eyes to yet another sunny day. He sighed and wished, once again, that it would rain instead of being so blasted cheerful all the time. If he had his way, everyone would taste his misery, though because of rain rather than a broken heart._

_He got out of bed, sighing once more. He really should leave, he thought. He had been there since the accident. He simply couldn't bring himself to do it, though. Oftentimes he felt as though her ghost remained bound to the castle, and he couldn't bring himself to leave that – leave her. Sometimes, late at night, when he was on the border between wakefulness and sleep, he heard her voice call to him, begging him for something, anything, to ease the pain, to help her._

_But he never could._

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
__There's just too much that  
Time cannot erase_

_Fifteen months today, he thought as he shuffled to his wardrobe. He felt as though a knife pierced his side as he thought the words, right in the hole where his heart used to be. Fresh tears – not the last for the day, he knew – rolled down his cheeks. He didn't even try to wipe them away, knowing that it was useless. Knowing that there would just be more, then more, and still more. He closed his eyes, returning to happier times – times when his love was still alive._

_When you cried, I'd wipe away  
All of your tears  
__When you'd scream, I'd fight away  
All of your fears  
__And I held your hand through  
All of these years__  
But you still have  
All of me  
_

_He couldn't count how many times he had comforted her, be it after a fall, a fight, or just a bad day. He recalled a particular time when he was just a shoulder to cry on, but he had never minded. When she woke up screaming in the night, he was right there by her side as fast as he could move. He hated it beyond words when he could do nothing more than say, over and over, "It's okay. It's alright." If ever she needed a friend to look to, she knew she could turn to him. She knew she could trust him to do everything in his power to make everything better._

_But now she was gone, and he had done nothing._

_You used to captivate me by  
Your resonating light__  
Now I'm bound by  
The life you left behind  
__Your face it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams  
__Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me_

_Time and time again, he would wake in the middle of night thinking he had heard her speak, or caught her laugh as it faded away. Instead, he found nothing but darkness and silence. Not even a remnant of the sparkle she always seemed to posses was visible anymore, because she was buried deep beneath the earth. He thought he was going crazy, hearing voices in the middle of the night._

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real__  
There's just too much that  
Time cannot erase_

_He leaned his forehead against the closed wardrobe door, tears still flowing freely, face twisted in a grimace of pain. He had once thought he knew heartbreak, but he realized now that what he had felt then was a mere shadow of a truly broken heart. Before, it had a crack, easily repaired; now, he felt as though his heart had been broken into a million tiny pieces, which had then been taken out like so much garbage._

"_Fifteen months," he whispered hoarsely. Even when his brother had died, Halt had not mourned for fifteen months – or if he had, he never showed it. But Ferris had never been much of a brother, he reasoned. His mentor had not loved Ferris as he would have loved a true brother. And, he thought, no one had ever loved anyone the same way he had loved her – the same way he still loved her._

_When you cried, I'd wipe away  
All of your tears__  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away  
All of your fears__  
And I held your hand through  
All of these years__  
But you still have  
All of me_

_Finally, the flow of tears lessened, then stopped. He wiped his eyes and carelessly tossed his clothes on. He strode to the door and put his hand on the knob, but didn't turn it. He was hungry, but he didn't want to eat. He sighed heavily. Jenny would probably have something sent up later if he didn't come down – and she would know if he didn't eat with everyone else – but he didn't want any company except that of the one person he would never see again._

_I've tried so hard to tell myself  
That you're gone__  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along_

_He had told her goodbye on the day of her funeral, but had rushed back that very evening to say that he had never meant it. She would always live inside him, he vowed. Always, and forever._

_He knew he was being irrational by refusing company. He even told himself as much as he slipped off his boots and collapsed into a chair by the fire. She was gone, and there wasn't an earthly power that could bring her back. There wasn't an earthly power that could have prevented her passing, either. It was a simple mistake, and an honest one, but one that he – in his current state of mind – should have seen coming. As he stared into the dancing flames, he thought he felt the touch of a hand on his shoulder. It felt like...it felt like her hand. He slowly turned, afraid to break the spell, but the space behind him was empty. He sighed again – he was doing that a lot lately._

_There wasn't much else to do when you were alone._

_When you cried, I'd wipe away  
All of your tears__  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away  
All of your fears__  
And I held your hand through  
All of these years  
__But you still have  
All of me  
Me  
Me_

"I love you, Alyss Mainwaring, and I always will," Will Treaty whispered to the fire.

"Always, and forever."

* * *

**A/N: *is sobbing* I'm sorry, it's just...it's just...*dissolves into wordless wails***

**On a side note: Evanescence! How's that for angsty? Not usually my style (I'm a sunny-side-up kind of girl), but I think this song was perfect for some good angsting. :D The title was a play on both the name of the song ("My Immortal") and the fact that Will promises Alyss that he'll love her forever - that his love will be immortal.  
**

**Review, please!**

**Okay, it seems that I wasn't as clear as I thought I was. Alyss died, Pauline did not. The whole thing, except the beginning, was written from Will's point of view. Okay? :) If you review and ask "Did Pauline die?" or some such question I just answered, I'm just going to refer you to this.  
**


End file.
